War Diaries – Day 55: The bittersweet journey of Israel’s hostage return

Here we are, nearly 2 months into the war, and navigating through a week that’s been an emotional rollercoaster.

The thing we most wanted, what we were waiting and praying for, is beginning to come to fruition. Our hostages are coming home.

Every day, for the last 7 days, we’ve seen a batch of hostages returning home. I feel the joy of their return in every inch of my being.

I’ve become glued to watching first reunion videos of families, getting a glimpse into the world of hostages reuniting with their family for the first time. The tears, the tentative smiles, the hugs… Oh, the hugs. You can see they want to hold each other and never let go. I just want to see more and more.

We rejoice and cheer for hostages making it home, but behind the scenes, there’s another story unfolding, and it makes me sad, angry and again brings more heartbreak.

The reality is that these hostages are returning to broken families, half families – some murdered, some still kidnapped and held hostage.

They’re returning to no homes, since their homes have been destroyed and they are now displaced, living in hotel rooms across the country.

They’re returning after 50-55 days of being kept in sub-human conditions, with barely any food to eat, some with injuries and some even close to death. The emotional pain and trauma of what they endured will take a long time to heal.

Re-integrating into society is going to take a long time and a lot of support.

And the fact that their return is through some form of trade arrangement. Hostages – women and children – in exchange for terrorists at a ratio of 3 to 1. Bizarre…

And what about those that are left behind?

The mind games continue… Are they alive? Are they dead? Are they ok? Are they injured? Will they eventually be rescued?

We’re still waiting for the Bibas family – Shiri the Mom, Kfir, 10 months old and Ariel, 4 years old. They can’t find them, they’re dead, they’re missing, they’re alive, they’re dead…

We’re stretched to the brink of our capacity to hold emotions of pain and joy.

And we all watched and waited with bated breath, every night for the last week as a new batch of hostages is promised to return to us. Each new batch coming through like a tap drip dripping away. Slowly, slowly…

And it’s still not enough. We cannot rest until we get all the hostages back and until we know what’s happened to every single one of them.

The count now stands at around 145. Better than the 238 we started with… But still 145.

145 people that are being held for 55 days now. Nearly 2 months, kidnapped. Still an unimaginable number.

And we continue to trade the lives of loved ones, listen to broken promises and keep holding our breath, because life is precious. Every single life is precious.

Every person that is returned is a whole life that’s given a new chance to live even though we live with the dissonance – joy and pain – created with every new batch of hostages released.

“Whosoever destroys one soul, it is as though he had destroyed the entire world. And whosoever saves a life, it is as though he had saved the entire world.” – Hillel, Jewish Elder

This is the moral compass we live by. When we save one life, we’re saving a whole world.

And we continue to bring them home…

Am Yisrael Chai 🇮🇱



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