Last week, we experienced an event that shook our entire nation.
Three hostages managed to escape from their captors in Gaza. They ran out of a building with their hands up, white flag raised and shirts lifted. Tragically they were mistaken for terrorists and shot by the IDF.
They made a heroic move and caught a glimpse of freedom. They were really almost there and then met with their deaths. A tragic, heartbreaking story that fueled a range of emotions from absolutely everyone! The courts of public opinion were in session, and they were mostly merciless.
And then in the fog, one voice spoke out clearly and beautifully.
Iris Haim, the mother of one of the hostages that were killed, Yotam Haim, spoke with such love and compassion. A mother, facing the worst of all tragedies, losing your child after 79 days of captivity, immediately became a role model for forgiveness, for bringing light into the darkness and for teaching us all a lesson in grace, humility and leadership in the most difficult circumstances.
She initiated contact with the IDF unit responsible for her son’s death and told them she loves and forgives them. She told them that they dare not blame themselves. She encouraged them to continue on their mission to bring peace and freedom to the State of Israel. She told them she wants to invite them to her home to meet them as soon as they are able to come and that they should continue to be strong and not doubt themselves.
In a later interview (Channel 12) she said, I want to speak about Yotam, my son, and who he was. I don’t want to talk about how he died. He died a hero. He tasted freedom before he died and I’m proud and happy that he had that.
I can’t imagine a more difficult situation that losing your child in such devastating circumstances and here she is, giving me inspiration to carry on.
I heard Col. Richard Kemp speak last week, and he explained some principles relating to war, which can shed light about what happens on the battlefront.
He spoke about combat ratios. The combat ratio is the ratio of civilians to combatants killed in war situations. The UN published the average combat ratio across all wars, worldwide, since World War II to be 9:1. The US wars in Vietnam and Afghanistan sit at ratios of 5:1 and 3:1. Israel’s current war stands at 2:1.
In his words, when it comes to combat effectiveness and minimization of civilian casualties, no one matches IDF standards.
He also explained the concept of fog of war. In combat, there are many moving parts. It’s really tough on the soldiers to fight while the enemy is trying to fool you every minute of every day – making you think it’s not an enemy in front of you. Hamas have used white flags to pretend to surrender and then killed soldiers. They use Hebrew words and phrases to lure soldiers to traps. Soldiers have only a microsecond to make the right decision and act and sometimes they get it wrong.
When I wake up in the morning, wondering how much longer this war will continue, how many more deaths we’ll have to endure, how much more devastation we’re going to face, I think of Iris Haim and I draw strength to continue, to believe that good will prevail, that the truth will be seen and that we will create a better future.
Yes, we are at war and at the same time, our larger community is not on the front lines. We’re sitting at home, worried, anxious, uncertain, heartbroken.
And in uncertainty, lie all the possibilities – good and bad – even good ones we can’t imagine or think up right now. If we embrace the uncertainty and open ourselves up to possibility, maybe good things can and will happen.
I’m drawn to the concepts of love and humanity. This is what we fiercely need right now. To love each other, within our nation, and to show humanity in our interactions with each other.
Another dad who lost his son in this war, called for people to come together for a day of unity – where we don’t speak ill of each other, we stop blaming those that think differently to us and do acts of kindness in his fallen son’s name.
Can we do that for 24 hours?
I’ll end with words from Douglas Murray, author and journalist and supporter of Israel.
“Extraordinary times produce extraordinary people. Moments of great trial are the moments when you produce new leaders, new ideas, new heroes and new strategies.”
Iris Haim has shown us this week what it means to be extraordinary. She has shown us what it means to be a leader in dark times and she has offered hope for the future.
I’m struck by examples of leadership that come from people who don’t force their leadership on us. In fact, quite the opposite, they come out of the blue, with simple acts and gestures, by people who really just leading their own lives.
Thank you, Iris Chaim, for shining your light for us to see through the darkness.
Am Yisrael Chai 🇮🇱
